I still have trouble with waste and what it all means and entails. However, I’m doing better, and I want to tell you a little story about waste.
Last year, my husband and I stayed in a very nice hotel in an Asian country that served a four-course meal every single night. We were there for four nights, so that was a lot of food I was going to be presented with! I was already doing quite well IE-wise, and in the past 2 weeks or so had got used to eating just what I needed and wanted, telling myself every morning that ‘Today, I will not overeat’. Of course, it was going to be a bit more difficult in that hotel, because the food looked delicious, on the menu and on people’s plates. Still, that first evening, I tried very hard to listen to my body and to eat little. But it meant leaving a lot of food on my plate for each course. Because we knew that quite a lot of food would be served but we wanted to sample it all, my husband and I had indeed decided to each eat just half of whatever would be on our plates (or less if we were not that hungry).
I told my husband how guilty I felt leaving half of my food, for it to just be thrown away in the bin, when we were in such a poor country and thousands of people were starving just a few miles away. Every course was in fact light and quite small, but it soon filled me up, so I stuck to ‘our rule’. Still, I felt very guilty.
Until my husband said: ‘Just by being here, you’re helping so many people – those who picked the fruit and veg, those who farmed the animals, those who cut the meat, those who fished, those who cook everything here, those who serve, those who manage the hotel. You’ve done your bit just by being here. The food is not wasted – you’ve helped so many people!’
That’s when I realised that, once again, just being was enough... It was a true revelation to me. I had NEVER thought of it this way before.
This was a turning point. The evenings after that, I felt less guilty, and by the last day, I thought to myself, when I left half of my dessert, ‘I don’t owe them anything’, ‘them’ being the hotel, the staff, the restaurant. It sounds harsh and rude, but it helped me overcome my sadness at leaving so much food on my plate.
As for the food itself, remember that even when you eat it it’s wasted – it’s turned into waste and it goes down the toilet, for the most part. Whatever you do, it’s wasted. Or ‘waisted’ (to pinch Evelyn Tribole’s pun) if you eat it all when you’re not hungry...
Monday, 17 September 2007
S for 'symptoms of hunger'
Just a short entry today. I wrote about this a few weeks ago on a post-it note and I think it might be useful for those who are starting out on the IE path.
When I first learned about IE, I didn't know I could have this huge range of hunger sensations in me. Simply because I had never let myself be truly hungry. Now that I do, here are a few types of hunger that might assail me when I need to refuel my body:
- a big hole in my stomach
- distinct stomach growling
- trembling/shaking hands and arms, wobbly legs
- feeling faint
- headache
- irritability
The interesting thing I've noticed is that it varies from day to day, and even from hunger experience to hunger experience. It is practically never the same hunger that I feel on a daily basis! This is completely new for me, and it does feel good to know that my body lets me know in no uncertain terms that it needs food! The types of hunger that I've listed are rarely combined together. It's usually just one of these symptoms at a time.
My favourite hunger sensation? Feeling great (no headache, no irritability, no shaking) but with a GROWLING stomach! The one I hate the most: shaking hands and arms/wobbly legs, because in those cases I really have to eat asap. With a growling stomach, there is no sense of urgency, I just know I'm hungry, and as long as I get food within the hour, I'm fine. But with shaking or feeling faint, then food is needed urgently, otherwise I can't carry on functioning!
What are your favourite symptoms of hunger? Learn to love and cherish your hunger signals. Learn to not be scared of them any more.
PS: Here’s a little story of what happened to me last week (making this entry just as long as any other, in the end! Sorry!). I had a sort of mini bingeing episode in the afternoon, so I wasn’t very hungry in the evening. My husband cooked goat’s cheese-filled pasta parcels and when he served me, I said ‘Just a few, thanks’. I had never had so little pasta on my plate before! After an initial tiny feeling of fear and discomfort at the prospect of having so little food, I relaxed and told myself: ‘If I’m going to have so little, I’m going to relish every single mouthful, every bite, every juicy bit’. Yep, it make me slow right down! And you know what? There was still too much food on my plate!! I had had enough by bite #4, I think! When I went to bed two and a half hours later, I was hungry again, but I was in bed, teeth brushed and all, so I just read and went to sleep (I don’t like eating after I’ve brushed my teeth, and I think there’s no point in eating just before going to bed, and I find that usually the hunger feeling goes within a few minutes anyway). The next morning, my stomach was GROWLING! Now if that wasn’t hunger! This proves that even after a binge, you should just ‘coast’, go with the flow, and soon enough your body will let you know that it’s hungry again. I also realised one more time that going with the flow is the best policy: go with the binge – it could turn out to be a small one; go with your tiny hunger – it could turn out that you’re even less hungry than you thought you were; go with your MASSIVE hunger the next morning – your body is ready for more food! And listen to it of course: do you want pancakes, cereal, a slice of bread, some fruit? The point is: you never know what your body is going to want after any kind of eating episode. So don’t worry about it, just listen and comply!
When I first learned about IE, I didn't know I could have this huge range of hunger sensations in me. Simply because I had never let myself be truly hungry. Now that I do, here are a few types of hunger that might assail me when I need to refuel my body:
- a big hole in my stomach
- distinct stomach growling
- trembling/shaking hands and arms, wobbly legs
- feeling faint
- headache
- irritability
The interesting thing I've noticed is that it varies from day to day, and even from hunger experience to hunger experience. It is practically never the same hunger that I feel on a daily basis! This is completely new for me, and it does feel good to know that my body lets me know in no uncertain terms that it needs food! The types of hunger that I've listed are rarely combined together. It's usually just one of these symptoms at a time.
My favourite hunger sensation? Feeling great (no headache, no irritability, no shaking) but with a GROWLING stomach! The one I hate the most: shaking hands and arms/wobbly legs, because in those cases I really have to eat asap. With a growling stomach, there is no sense of urgency, I just know I'm hungry, and as long as I get food within the hour, I'm fine. But with shaking or feeling faint, then food is needed urgently, otherwise I can't carry on functioning!
What are your favourite symptoms of hunger? Learn to love and cherish your hunger signals. Learn to not be scared of them any more.
PS: Here’s a little story of what happened to me last week (making this entry just as long as any other, in the end! Sorry!). I had a sort of mini bingeing episode in the afternoon, so I wasn’t very hungry in the evening. My husband cooked goat’s cheese-filled pasta parcels and when he served me, I said ‘Just a few, thanks’. I had never had so little pasta on my plate before! After an initial tiny feeling of fear and discomfort at the prospect of having so little food, I relaxed and told myself: ‘If I’m going to have so little, I’m going to relish every single mouthful, every bite, every juicy bit’. Yep, it make me slow right down! And you know what? There was still too much food on my plate!! I had had enough by bite #4, I think! When I went to bed two and a half hours later, I was hungry again, but I was in bed, teeth brushed and all, so I just read and went to sleep (I don’t like eating after I’ve brushed my teeth, and I think there’s no point in eating just before going to bed, and I find that usually the hunger feeling goes within a few minutes anyway). The next morning, my stomach was GROWLING! Now if that wasn’t hunger! This proves that even after a binge, you should just ‘coast’, go with the flow, and soon enough your body will let you know that it’s hungry again. I also realised one more time that going with the flow is the best policy: go with the binge – it could turn out to be a small one; go with your tiny hunger – it could turn out that you’re even less hungry than you thought you were; go with your MASSIVE hunger the next morning – your body is ready for more food! And listen to it of course: do you want pancakes, cereal, a slice of bread, some fruit? The point is: you never know what your body is going to want after any kind of eating episode. So don’t worry about it, just listen and comply!
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
An interesting experiment – and T for ‘Trust your body’
Now then, who did I fool with my last entry? I hope nobody! If you have been fooled however, then perhaps it means that you are/were not convinced that IE is the ONLY way, just like I was not.
However, now, believe you me, I am ABSOLUTELY convinced that it is! It takes experiments like these to get to this point, but I’m all for them if they help us realise such important things in life.
First of all, I was intrigued that I had actually managed to lose a bit more weight, just before starting my ‘WW points-cum-IE experiment’. I thought about it quite often during my ‘little experiment’ and of course, it made me realise that of course, IE does work, since even before counting my points I had lost a bit of weight, something that hadn’t happened for literally months.
Second, after a few days of doing ‘WW points-cum-IE’, I realised that actually, when I manage not to think about points (but still count them) and do IE properly and normally, and I’m fine physically and mentally, oh surprise: I eat about 20-25 points, or sometimes less. And when I feel a bit down, or just ‘what is this feeling?-I don’t know but I feel like eating’, whether I’m ‘counting my points’ (aka ‘I’m on a diet’) or whether I’m doing IE, I still eat however much I need (which can be up to 50 points, I guess!).
Major conclusion: There is no point in doing WW or counting points or doing ‘WW points-cum-IE’; it doesn’t make any difference whatsoever. (Of course, the difference with ‘the old days’ is that ‘in the old WW days’ I would prevent myself from eating even if I felt like it or even if I was hungry, whereas this time around, I’m completely unable to do that, so I would just eat as if I was just doing IE, going with the flow and just trying to be a bit objective and detached about what was happening [as an observer would be].)
Interesting, don’t you think? This means I’ve gone a loooonnnnng way and I’m an IE person, for better or for worse. Personally, I think it’s totally ‘for better’!
I have now stopped counting my points and am back to ‘the IE way’, with renewed confidence and happiness.
The best thing is: I completely trust my body. I can feel that we’re ONE now. It’s a weird feeling, but it’s a wonderful feeling too. I can trust it, I can say ‘Up to you, buddy, you’re in charge, I’ll just follow your orders, because I now know for sure that you know best’, and so I don’t have to think about food or my intake or exercise or anything. I can just get on with my life. I know that, just like my body lets me know when it’s thirsty or needs a wee, it will let me know when it needs refuelling, and it will tell me exactly what it needs, based on what it needs physiologically but also based on what will most probably satisfy my taste buds and my mind, i.e. what it needs psychologically. (Geneen Roth explains so well that satisfaction is both physical and mental. It’s so true! It’s thanks to her that I managed to completely ignore the points system and go back to IE so easily.)
The low point (ah! point! what a pun!) of my experiment was when I went to a very good friend’s wedding on Saturday 1 September. She was stunning, her dress was just gorgeous and fitted and suited her sooooo well. The point (again?!) is, as far as this blog entry is concerned, that she has lost 8 kg for her wedding, doing WW. So of course, I was even more tempted to carry on counting my points and do what she’d done. I regretted bitterly not having made that choice for my own wedding and resented myself for it all day on the Sunday. ‘I’m so stupid, what didn’t I lose weight like her? Worse: why did I put on 5 kg 2 months before my wedding?!’
But then on Monday, I had realised, for the second time this year (the first time being in January) how futile this all was, and especially how counter-productive. So I admitted that I was feeling a bit jealous, but mostly that I was attributing great things to ‘being thin’ which were not necessarily true. I reminded myself that being slim is not the be all and end all, and that I really must forget about it completely and get on with my life, trust my body and see where we would end up, the two of us, without deciding in advance. I decided that just being satisfied would do me – and being satisfied on all levels. It would be such an achievement, after so many years of being unsatisfied...
However, now, believe you me, I am ABSOLUTELY convinced that it is! It takes experiments like these to get to this point, but I’m all for them if they help us realise such important things in life.
First of all, I was intrigued that I had actually managed to lose a bit more weight, just before starting my ‘WW points-cum-IE experiment’. I thought about it quite often during my ‘little experiment’ and of course, it made me realise that of course, IE does work, since even before counting my points I had lost a bit of weight, something that hadn’t happened for literally months.
Second, after a few days of doing ‘WW points-cum-IE’, I realised that actually, when I manage not to think about points (but still count them) and do IE properly and normally, and I’m fine physically and mentally, oh surprise: I eat about 20-25 points, or sometimes less. And when I feel a bit down, or just ‘what is this feeling?-I don’t know but I feel like eating’, whether I’m ‘counting my points’ (aka ‘I’m on a diet’) or whether I’m doing IE, I still eat however much I need (which can be up to 50 points, I guess!).
Major conclusion: There is no point in doing WW or counting points or doing ‘WW points-cum-IE’; it doesn’t make any difference whatsoever. (Of course, the difference with ‘the old days’ is that ‘in the old WW days’ I would prevent myself from eating even if I felt like it or even if I was hungry, whereas this time around, I’m completely unable to do that, so I would just eat as if I was just doing IE, going with the flow and just trying to be a bit objective and detached about what was happening [as an observer would be].)
Interesting, don’t you think? This means I’ve gone a loooonnnnng way and I’m an IE person, for better or for worse. Personally, I think it’s totally ‘for better’!
I have now stopped counting my points and am back to ‘the IE way’, with renewed confidence and happiness.
The best thing is: I completely trust my body. I can feel that we’re ONE now. It’s a weird feeling, but it’s a wonderful feeling too. I can trust it, I can say ‘Up to you, buddy, you’re in charge, I’ll just follow your orders, because I now know for sure that you know best’, and so I don’t have to think about food or my intake or exercise or anything. I can just get on with my life. I know that, just like my body lets me know when it’s thirsty or needs a wee, it will let me know when it needs refuelling, and it will tell me exactly what it needs, based on what it needs physiologically but also based on what will most probably satisfy my taste buds and my mind, i.e. what it needs psychologically. (Geneen Roth explains so well that satisfaction is both physical and mental. It’s so true! It’s thanks to her that I managed to completely ignore the points system and go back to IE so easily.)
The low point (ah! point! what a pun!) of my experiment was when I went to a very good friend’s wedding on Saturday 1 September. She was stunning, her dress was just gorgeous and fitted and suited her sooooo well. The point (again?!) is, as far as this blog entry is concerned, that she has lost 8 kg for her wedding, doing WW. So of course, I was even more tempted to carry on counting my points and do what she’d done. I regretted bitterly not having made that choice for my own wedding and resented myself for it all day on the Sunday. ‘I’m so stupid, what didn’t I lose weight like her? Worse: why did I put on 5 kg 2 months before my wedding?!’
But then on Monday, I had realised, for the second time this year (the first time being in January) how futile this all was, and especially how counter-productive. So I admitted that I was feeling a bit jealous, but mostly that I was attributing great things to ‘being thin’ which were not necessarily true. I reminded myself that being slim is not the be all and end all, and that I really must forget about it completely and get on with my life, trust my body and see where we would end up, the two of us, without deciding in advance. I decided that just being satisfied would do me – and being satisfied on all levels. It would be such an achievement, after so many years of being unsatisfied...
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